I was given a precious gift today. A dear friend and former collegue stopped by and we began to chit chat about old times. During the conversation she told me that a comment I made when her oldest child was 8 or 9 totally impacted her parenting techniqes. It's wonderful to know that I was able to bless her relationship with her three children (one of whom was called home one wintery day three years ago.)

The comment....

Now that summer vacation is here, I suspect that the average blood pressure for Mom's across the country is seeing an increase. Dirty little feet are tracking floors, bedroom clutter is mounting, and rules are being broken at alarming rates. Don't dispair! You are not alone.

Here are some of my tried and true suggestions for getting the youngsters in hand without popping a blood vessel or stripping your vocal cords.

1. Outline your expectations in a written format

2. Specifically list rewards and punishment for the behaviors you are hoping to inspire or discourage.

3. Orally address the issues with each individual child and be sure they understand your expectations and understant the rewards and consequences.

4. When a rule is broken: Ask the child which rule he/she broke, what the consequences are, and silently follow through. Follow the same procedure when a rule or chore has been carried out to your expectations and a reward is in order.

Why? This helps the child to understand that reward and punishment is in his/her hands. It's earned, not something you are handing down at random or when you've "had enough!"

In other words, get your hand of the horn and onto the steering wheel and you'll get much better results.

Here's to a blessed and enjoyable summer to you and yours!