I read an interview with Dan Brown, author of The Divinci Code, in the paper yesterday. Who do you think turned him into the religious skeptic the book seems to portray? ...a bad friend, aetheistic teachers, unbelieving parents? Wrong! It was his minister.

According to Dan Brown, at a very crucial time in his life he went to school and heard the Big Bang Theory. Being a very religious kid, he also went to church and heard that God created the heaven and earth. So what was the answer? He was struggling to fit all of the pieces of the puzzle of religion and science together in his own mind. When he asked the question, his minister's response was that nice boys don't ask that question. And guess what? The science teacher was only too happy to explain his theory in a way that made sense to his young mind.

The truth is that kids have questions. The questions are big. At some point every human has to come to grips with how to interpret the world around them. The even scarier truth is that it's not always the person with the right answers who takes the time to answer those tough questions. When we avoid them, they find the answers somewhere. It might be in a book, from a friend, off a movie, or even a teacher at school. But the fact is that we won't have the opportunity to help them understand and leave them vulnerable to very slanted or even perverted viewpoints.

We must never forget that our children will get an answer to their questions! It's just a matter of who or what is providing those answers.

I was given a precious gift today. A dear friend and former collegue stopped by and we began to chit chat about old times. During the conversation she told me that a comment I made when her oldest child was 8 or 9 totally impacted her parenting techniqes. It's wonderful to know that I was able to bless her relationship with her three children (one of whom was called home one wintery day three years ago.)

The comment....

Now that summer vacation is here, I suspect that the average blood pressure for Mom's across the country is seeing an increase. Dirty little feet are tracking floors, bedroom clutter is mounting, and rules are being broken at alarming rates. Don't dispair! You are not alone.

Here are some of my tried and true suggestions for getting the youngsters in hand without popping a blood vessel or stripping your vocal cords.

1. Outline your expectations in a written format

2. Specifically list rewards and punishment for the behaviors you are hoping to inspire or discourage.

3. Orally address the issues with each individual child and be sure they understand your expectations and understant the rewards and consequences.

4. When a rule is broken: Ask the child which rule he/she broke, what the consequences are, and silently follow through. Follow the same procedure when a rule or chore has been carried out to your expectations and a reward is in order.

Why? This helps the child to understand that reward and punishment is in his/her hands. It's earned, not something you are handing down at random or when you've "had enough!"

In other words, get your hand of the horn and onto the steering wheel and you'll get much better results.

Here's to a blessed and enjoyable summer to you and yours!