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Glorious Gal

Sharing my sanity savers: love, laughter, and inspiration.

Black Friday Confession 3:00 AM

I have a deep dark secret and I guess Black Friday is the perfect day to confess. I know that some of you sitting there might tsk! tsk! my claim to womanhood when you read this. Are you ready?

I was NOT born to shop!

Black Friday is a nightmare day for me. I wake up in the morning and pull the blankets over my head and repeat, I will NOT go to the store today. I WILL not go to the store today. I will not go to the STORE today. And I will repeat it until my brain is alert enough to get the message. I know exactly what I'll find if I do...

  1. Wet shopping carts! You know full well that all of the dry shopping carts have been left outside in those little cart bins and are filling up with snow just for me. No matter how long I wait for the Wal Mart greeter to rub them buggies down they still soak the front of my skirt and my purse before I've reached aisle one.

  2. Crabby shoppers! Now, I'm not being critical here. I totally empathize with anyone who has had their Achilles tendons wheeled over and their bohunkus rear-ended a dozen times every five minutes by maniac cart drivers. It generally doesn't bring out the best - even in the gentlest Christian.

  3. Eternal lines! I'm one of those shoppers who head straight for the self-check out counter. I like a no-mess check-out process. Besides, the self-check counters are closest to the door ;) Honey, if you don't mind standing in the stationary department until your feet are numb while the person 50 people up can't figure out how to swipe their debit card, bless your heart! Would you mind putting an extra of the best deal in the store in your cart for me?

So there it is... my deep dark confession. While you're elbowing your way through the crowd, looking at the empty shelves where the item you wanted used to be and dealing with rubber knees, I'll be here surfing my day away... where the shopping carts are always dry, my heals are safe, my derriere is cushioned, and the lines are always short. =D

I wish you well!